Have you ever looked at your bank statement and wondered, “Where did all my money go?” I used to think I was pretty frugal—always hunting for sales, making my own coffee, and keeping our grocery bill in check. But when I finally sat down and tracked every expense, I realized our spending didn’t always reflect what mattered most to us.
But first, let’s address how I got there…
The Wake-Up Call
About six years ago, my husband had just celebrated a milestone birthday, and I decided we needed to make sure our financial house was in order, starting with our monthly spending. I spent hours combing through our credit card statements, categorizing every purchase. It was tedious—but eye-opening. I discovered a lot of our money was spent on discretionary items that we didn’t even care about. We were buying things on autopilot, not because they brought us joy or served a purpose. This was a strange discovery because I went into the exercise feeling like we were generally quite good with money.
What We Did Right
- Bought things on sale whenever we could
- Made our own coffee and (mostly) packed lunches
- Kept our grocery bill within an acceptable range
- Only upgraded electronics when truly necessary
What We Missed
- Paying for services we either didn’t use or get our money’s worth from
- Bought items we didn’t need (justified by a sale price tag, no doubt)
We decided to re-evaluate everything we spent money on to ensure it aligned with our priorities and came up with a four-step question process to help keep us in check.
The Questions That Changed Everything
Before buying, we started asking ourselves:
- Do I really need this item?
- Will I use it often enough?
- Is there a cheaper alternative?
- Is this important to us?
This simple exercise helped us cut our bills significantly. Here are some of the things we let go:
- Expensive, unlimited talk/text/data cell phone plan
- Cable plan bundled with internet
- (And this will be an unpopular one) Amazon Prime – we didn’t use any of the ‘perks’ that came with it!
But we kept what mattered most:
- High-quality food
- Kids’ extracurricular activities
- Travel and experiences
- Netflix (gotta have this one!)
Why This Matters
This was a personal exercise for us, and the expenses we cut were ones that we didn’t deem important to our lifestyle. Once the basic needs are met (housing, food, clothing, etc.) the list of what to keep and what to let go is going to be different for each person. That’s why it’s so important to ensure your spending is aligned with YOUR priorities.
Reviewing your monthly expenses and answering this question is critical. Once you determine what’s not important, you can eliminate those expenses and save or invest that money for your future.
The Bigger Picture
There’s an entire industry dedicated to getting us to “buy, buy, buy”—whether it’s something that caught our eye, an influencer’s recommendation, or just needing a quick dopamine hit when we’re bored or sad. Sometimes we buy things because we work hard and feel we deserve it 🙋♀️. But who deserves mindless spending and a house full of items we don’t need or use?
What we do deserve is to live a stress-free existence, knowing we’ve taken care of our current and future selves by saving and investing. We deserve to never, ever have to stress because of an unexpected expense, a layoff, or an illness. That is a real luxury—and one we can all intentionally strive for as we align our spending with our priorities.
Your Turn
Ready to align your spending with your priorities? Here’s what you can do!
- Start by reviewing your last month’s expenses. Decide what you’re going to keep and what you need to cut.
- Ask yourself the four questions above for each discretionary purchase you want to make
You might be surprised by what you find—and how much lighter you feel when your money supports what truly matters to you.
